Shoulds

The words we use can reveal our attitudes.

One of the words especially worth our attention is the word “should”.

Shoulds often puts pressure on us and make us feel that we don’t have a choice.

"I should do this" is a disempowering statement. It implies that there is a conflict - between the part of you that wants to avoid the task and go do something more fun, interesting or fulfilling and another part of you that thinks that doing the task is a better idea in the long run, and therefore it is the only way, making the pain inevitable.

This approach leads to feeling stuck and seeing yourself as a victim.

Break yourself free!

Change the way you think and talk about these tasks. Realize that you do have a choice. When talking about the task, use the word “want” (or don’t want) instead of should.

Sometimes we take things for granted and ignore the benefits we get from making certain decisions. Our excitement starts fading as we start getting desensitized and stop being appreciative.

No wonder why that leads us to see our work as a chore, and ourselves as victims. Contrary to what we may think initially, that approach is not going to make us productive or happy long term - it is simply not sustainable.

The alternative is to change the attitude - not tie happiness to external factors, learn to appreciate the things you have and learn the difference between what you want and what you need.